Skip to main content

Kyrie Irving is missing - possibly gone to a a higher "astral realm"

Image
By

Former-Celtic, Kyrie Irving is among the missing, and his past ramblings may lead us to believe his physical carcass has left this planet, previously-described by him as flat, but recognized by most physical beings as ellipsoid in shape.

Although Kyrie's physical form was not evident in the Nets game last night, his "astral" being may have been. Brooklyn won the contest, 122-109, versus the Philadelphia 76'ers. Nothing against Caris LeVert (22P/7R/10A), Joe Harris (28P/5R/4A) and Jarret Allen ((15P/11/R/3A), but Irving had to have some impact on the win. Just ask him - if you can find his "beyond physical existence" (per Sports.TheOnion.com):

“I know guys are worried about playing again, but we can take care by just projecting ourselves to a dimension beyond physical existence,” said Irving, who claimed that our bodies are only exposed to weakness, sickness, and death when we unquestioningly accept the stories we are told about this reality. “The coronavirus is not real, none of this is. It is only as real as we make it. Disease does not need to exist, foul trouble does not need to exist. If we all focus our minds and transcend to the next astral realm, we could easily finish the season free on these false constraints the world imposes on us.” 

At press time, Irving was struggling to determine where out of bounds would be if every player’s soul existed outside of their physical form.

I have written previously about Kyrie trying to convince media and NBA fans of his higher-level intellect. I have become convinced his cerebral faculties, unlike his "astral" being, have not risen to exospheric levels, at least not yet, 

I would suggest that Adam Silver investigate last night's Philly/Brooklyn game. We may have a violation of the 5-player-limit rule here. Irving's "other-dimensional" presence on the hardwood with five teammates would be a clear transgression of the rules.

NOTE: I still wish Kyrie Irving the best and hope that the "personal reasons" for missing last night's game are not of a serious or of a grave nature. But Steve Nash deserves better than this. If tragedy did strike, a phone call takes only a minute.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Elm Street Nightmare

By
 A true-and-suspenseful horror tale of haunting, homicides and the hunt for triple-murderer, Daniel Laplante - as told by the cops that were there By Lt. Thomas Lane (Ret.)  Daniel Laplante - cold, calm, clever, calculating- Photo: YouTube   Elm Street  surfaces on six (6) occasions in the Laplante saga: 1.) He  resided on Elm Street  in Townsend, Massachusetts  2.) He  kidnapped a woman  at gunpoint on  Elm Street, Pepperell , Massachusetts 3.) That kidnapped woman fled to the Gillogly residence on Elm Street after escaping from the armed fugitive, Laplante. 4.) He was arrested and transported to Massachusetts State Police Barracks on Elm Street in Concord . 5.) He was  tried, convicted   and sentenced for the murders at  Superior Court , corner of  Elm Stree t and Gorham Street, Lowell, Massachusetts. 6.) The author, Thomas Lane, lived on Elm Steet, Pepperell, Massachusetts while a police Sgt./Lt. for the t...
19 comments
Read more

In defense of Marcus Smart

By
 Let me make it clear first of all that I am totally against making a threat of any kind that even hints at harming, or certainly killing, another human being. Marcus Smart was wrong in doing so in the Celtics loss to the tanking Oklahoma City Thunder , and he deserved the one-game suspension. But to be honest, part of me loved that it occurred. . This type of thing can happen when a player gets to a point "beyond frustration" and is having a bad game. Marcus and his teammates have been under-performing generally - were in the process of losing to a pathetic-and-tanking Thunder team - and Smart was having a bad game . And he let loose verbally at the closest target - an NBA official. Wilt Chamberlain did a similar act versus referee, Earl Strom when Wilt was having his usual tortuous time at the free throw line (per Chicago Tribune's Sam Smith): ''He was in one of those 1-for-13s,'' recalls referee Earl Strom. ''Nothing was getting close. S...
Post a Comment
Read more

Did the Celtics Kevin McHale really have a wingspan of 8-feet?

By
According to many sources, the Celtics Kevin McHale did indeed have an estimated wingspan of 8-feet. One of those sources is Wikipedia, as seen below: Kevin McHale American basketball player DescriptionKevin Edward McHale is an American retired basketball player who played his entire professional career for the Boston Celtics. He is a Basketball Hall of Fame inductee, and is regarded as one of the best power forwards of all time. He was named to the NBA's 50th Anniversary All-Time Team. Wikipedia Born: December 19, 1957 (age 61 years), Hibbing, MN Wingspan: 8′ 0″ Height: 6′ 10″ Spouse: Lynn McHale (m. 1982) NBA draft: 1980, Boston Celtics (Round: 1 / Pick: 3) Hall of fame induction: 1999 Number: 32 (Boston Celtics / Power forward, Center) Kevin was listed at 6'10" tall when he was drafted with the 3rd pick in the 1980 draft. Red Auerbach, in yet another heist, brought in both McHale and center Robert Parish (via trade) prior to the Celtics' 1980-81 Champion...
Post a Comment
Read more